Monday, September 14, 2009

Embarrasing Pre Anniversary story

It has come to my attention that as one day passes and another begins, I am getting clumsier by the second. Just yesterday I was thinking to myself " Wow I have not fallen on my face in years... doing good (insert name here), doing good." I think I might have jinxed myself, someone might have heard me and with the information attained that person decided to cast a spell on me. All I know is that after all these years I was always the one to never have an embarrassing moment. Other then the time when I was 7 years old, I was in the pool.. my father had taken me to New Jersey to spend time with his friends family. I had on this stripped blue and green two piece. (Even though I was fat and plump and a prune).
My hair was all out,overall I was looking like a sexy bon-a-fide mermaid when suddenly some boy points at my nunga nunga's and just stands there staring. Me being a 7 year old flirtatious, innocent child I decided to catch more of his attention and I started to pretend. I pretended I knew how to swim and when I rose back up and pulled my hair back my top had turned on me! Literally turned on me, as in my nunga nunga's decided to come out and play. The boy was so terrified that he left to where his family members were.

I on the other hand had no clue as to why the cute boy ran away. As soon as I started to question the boy's odd behavior some lady came up to me and said " Fix your bathing suit your letting the girls out." As soon as she said this I looked down to my chest and saw that in fact the girls did come out to play. What an embarrassment. The end result: I strapped my bathing suit on tight and got a towel. From that day forward I decided never to wear the green and blue neon bathing suit again.

And that my friends is my embarrassing story, although it was not the one I wanted to blog about. This other embarrassing story occurred yesterday, the day after me and my Honey bunches of oats celebrated our 7 month anniversary. ( Yea I know big commitment.. don't know what I am getting myself into to but * crosses fingers* I hope all goes well.) Anyways, yesterday I did not think that my Honey Bunches of Oats was coming so I kind of looked nice for no reason, well not really; I just wanted to feel good. I am going to move forward with the story and continue from when we were in the living room couch. I had gone to the kitchen to take back the plates from the dinner we had just ate. He is already in the couch and I am making my way towards the living room. Before I continue let me just point out that we have like a safety thing, it's used for babies so they wont go down some stairs or whatever the case maybe. We have one of those for Princey and Mimi my two adorable dogs. So as I go into the living room, my left foot trips on the tip of the baby incident preventor and BOOM! There I go. Falling like the giant from Jack and the beanstalk. It was incredible.

After all those years, yesterday was the day that I had to fall, fall right in front of my Honey Bunches of Oats. The funny thing was that as I was falling my eyes immediately zoomed into his facial expression as if to tell him to save me before I fall. But unfortunately he just starred as I kept on falling down. I though that I had made the loudest noise in the world, louder than an earthquake, a siren, a firetruck, a gun shot. Now you might be wondering what happens next, well I just stood on the floor saying to my self " I hope that when I close my eyes he is not here, please who ever is up there do me that favor. Ahh.. who am I kidding, he is there and he is about to laugh in 5...4...3.....2...1.

* Blank stares* and then the laughter begins. All I wanted to do was pretend nothing happened but it was so hard when your boyfriend is laughing at the fact that you just ate the floor. Needless to say he wanted to help me up but I wouldn't let him. Now that would be a day I will never forget and to add on to the fact that I fell on my face, I now have bruises and bumps to add more ump to this story. Hopefully I can be careful from now on.

Whats your story? Has this happened to you?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Shyt Happens

What do you do when your adorable skinny boyfriend jokingly says to another friend of yours that your kinda fat? Do you break down and cry? Push him through on coming traffic? Or do you just ignore his comment and continue sliding on with life? I apparently just kept on sliding through life, believe it or not. I guess I was in total disbelief of the situation. I mean, just 5 minutes ago we were holding hands and kissing, saying how much we loved each other and then this happens. Like WTF dude.

1. You never tell your girlfriend she is fat.
2. You never try and deny the fact that you said anything seeing as she was right next to you!
3. You don't ask her after 10 minutes if she is okay and starts rubbing her arm to try and comfort her as if it wasn't you who said the unspeakable.

Now gentlemen who read my blog, I know that when you have other people around you, you tend to be a little more "macho man" so to speak but your girlfriend notices it all. I mean there are just a few things you should not say to your special someone. Men can be so insensitive, what ever happened to accepting someone for who they are on the inside not what is on the outside. Did he ever hear of guts before glory? or something like that. The point I am trying to express is that in my generation men seem to skip the level headedness zoom past the mature and stable level and stop at the image is everything station. I thought that beauty before brains was so 2002, then why does he come out with such none sense. It does not make it better that I am still stuck on it, I guess it touched on some heavy topics, or maybe it just adds on to my Barbie mom who just loves to touch on the fat topic now that she is a pound away from vanishing.

I deal with my incredible mother everyday, she always points out how fat I am and doesn't stop asking if I did exercise or if I took the diet pills. Like jeez woman get a life.. a hobby... SOMETHING! I feel like just sticking her head in a oversized bucket of fat but that wouldn't help the situation much seeing as she might just attack me after words and then I would fear for my life. Isn't all that sweet when you live with her now is it?

Question: Does anyone seem to have this type of problem? Mothers becoming sexier than their kids and then tormenting their own children to become the spitting image of them? Or has your mom or dad ever done something like my situation. If so please share! ^-^

Furthermore, I believe that I am fairly pretty and very outgoing. My other two sisters are far prettier than me but I never complain... even though I am not THAT religious I believe in this quote " God give it and God can take it away," or something like that. =]

BTW: Princey says hi and because of my mom trying to improve everyone's health in the household she even has Princey fasting...or atleast I think she does. He doesn't want to eat his food anymore and neither does Mimi.. is this a problem? Barbie has tried everything, she goes to the pet store and buys nutrients to give them appetite and nothing. Anyone have any suggestions? Comments? Advice? Feedback? Please share =]!!


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Back on track!

I have returned to civilization at last! I have been gone but hopefully not forgotten. I feel like I have disowned my blog, I can't believe it has been more than a month since I have last posted. I know all you readers have been upset by my sudden disappearance...(hence the sarcasm) but I can truly say I have been in agony. Maybe it is just me but I felt as if I was letting down a lot of people especially myself. I originally created a blog to occupy myself and share many of my ramblings. My inital thought was to write a post everyday and one day hopefully, my blog would become successful and I would have atleast 50 readers. I know, I know it's a small goal but then again I have not accomplished it yet. In my not so perfect world I have trouble expressing myself and many of my friends don't get me. It is also incredible how I have a mother who inspires to be a barbie... Skinny waste and all. That's issue is for a later post. I feel like I am destined for greatness. How many of you have repeated those exact words but it's true. Even though I am in college and have no clue what I want to do in life I know that what ever I will pursue in life will define me as a person amongst society. Life has given me so many loops, situations, and most of all experience. I might be going off topic will my ramblings that don't make sense and this is why I need advice from readers like you. I am just a student trying to get by even with a mother who critizes every little hair. A father who would rather volunteer for politics then get a stable job to pay the bills in this over prices country! Although I have many more issues to make aware of I promise not to bore you and if that were to happen please write a letter to my secretary, my dog Princey.Last thought of this post, I promise to attempt to write everyday and be as entertaining as possible even though it is not a guarantee :) princey says goodbye and woof woof! :) till next time... Which hopefully that means tomorrow.

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