It has come to my attention that expressing one's self is harder when there are consequences. As a child I kept many diaries, written in those diaries were my most hidden thoughts and secrets that I would dare not say out loud. As any child wanting to be a grown-up I wrote about boys who I had a crush on even though they never knew I existed, siblings who at that time got me so mad that to get revenge I would say the most meanest things. I thought that by doing this I would get rid of the anger and at the same time make them pay for getting me in the state of mind that I was in to begin with. Little did I know that my most precious thoughts and secrets were being read as soon as I left my sanctuary, my room. You see, growing up with two other sisters who were older than you was not easy. Especially if the middle child was twenty minutes older than you and the oldest child was a genius! I had no special talents... I was not good at Math... I could not cook... hated to clean... but the only thing I loved to do was read. I read all types of books... books were my friends. To me it was an escape from reality, it was my high, my kryptonite. The smell of a brand new book that was waiting to be read gave me sheer happiness until the feeling escaped me and I had no other choice. You must ask yourself as you are reading this, how could the feeling of loving to read have escaped someone? Well, apparently my father thought that the books came from the devil. 0_O.. yea i know. So I stopped reading and turned to writing in journals. Although I still have a passion for reading I like to write better. Thankfully I have found a way to put my emotions into this blog in hopes that I can safely write my thoughts and secrets anonymously. It's one thing to act a certain way in front of your friends and family but it's another way to act when you are alone with your thoughts. I hope that I am atleast entertaining in my blog as I am in real life!
P.S: If I only write this for myself at least my conscience will be clean but it wouldnt hurt to have readers ;)
Hey There.
11 years ago
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